#DOWN AND FALL FALL FALL HOW TO#
#DOWN AND FALL FALL FALL FREE#

That sounds a little dramatic, I know, but allow me to explain: I live with clinical anxiety and obsessive compulsive disorder. The snowboarder pictured is most definitely not the author.) I’m afraid like I haven’t been afraid in a long time. My insides suddenly feel hollow, like my heart’s gone missing. This blue isn’t not flat - it looks straight down. When we get to the top of the blue slope, it becomes clear that this is a terrible mistake. Let’s do a run rated just below black diamonds. Also, because I’m not very good at turning yet, either, the best way I’ve found to stop myself from crashing into a tree or a pole or a little kid so far is to just fall down.īut yeah, sure, let’s do a blue. I mean, I know how, but I can’t exactly do it yet.

#DOWN AND FALL FALL FALL HOW TO#

Stupidly, I also fail to acknowledge that I can still only barely brake, and I don’t really know how to plow yet. Advice from one of my instructional YouTube videos flashes to mind: Don’t listen to your friends. I spend maybe half an hour on the bunny slope, and then I believe Chris when he says I’m fine, and again when he says that I don’t want to start with a green run because they are too flat and too easy and too boring. (This is likely how I ended up with the black and blue bruise over my left eyebrow the first evening, with no memory of how I got it.)

#DOWN AND FALL FALL FALL FREE#

I don’t wear the helmet that comes free of charge when I rent my board - a gnarly Burton painted in green and black swirls - because I don’t like helmets and also because I have an awesome, comfy hat I want to wear and it doesn’t fit under the helmet. I’m trying to save a few bucks and I’m feeling confident because I’ve surfed and skateboarded before, and I’ve watched some instructional YouTube videos, and Matt’s older brother Chris is a good snowboarder and says he’ll teach me all I need to know. The next morning, I don’t so much as take a snowboarding lesson. I’ll also be stunned by how dumb I can be. It’s one of the most breathtaking things I’ve ever seen, and later I’ll be stunned by how a mountain that can make something look so beautiful can also make me hurt so badly. We’re so far up the mountain that we actually watch the sun set into the clouds, which stretch out below us like a sweeping gray and orange ocean. When we arrive, we check in at a building labeled ‘Top of the World,’ and it’s accurate. The groom-to-be, Matt, loves skiing, for some reason.

It happens a few days before Christmas at the Snowshoe Mountain resort in West Virginia, where five of us go for a weekend to attend a bachelor party.

Down and fall fall fall